“If we would treat our partners the way we treat our friends, we would have less problems in our intimate relationships” said William Glasser, the founder of Choice Theory and Reality Therapy.

We all have a need for Love and Belonging and our partners / family and our friends contribute to us meeting this need. Yet there are times when we would get very angry and scream at our partner but it would never cross our mind to do that to our friends. Why? For the simple fact that they wouldn’t be our friends anymore. They wouldn’t accept us treating them disrespectfully.

We are sociable living beings. We need to belong and be together with like-minded individuals. We form clubs and enjoy being together, as much as we enter into intimate relationships. We have fun and we are happy when we are with someone else, more than when we are alone.

In a happy, loving relationship, people smile more and they feel closer to each other. They laugh and talk to each other more. They communicate more, both verbally and non-verbally.

Poor or bad communication is identified by researchers as one of the major causes of conflict in relationships and sometimes, people come to counselling to learn how to communicate better with their partner.

By being aware of what our partner needs and wants, by showing appreciation more, by developing an “emotions’  vocabulary” and using it to communicate with our other-half we increase our chances of having a strong and satisfying relationship.